Dear Fat People,

It sucks.

I understand.  I am 6’3, and give or take 345 pounds.  I have been battling my weight since my junior year in high school when I was a star baseball player and I had professional scouts question my weight when I was only 195 pounds, because my father at the time was close to or over 400 pounds.  I currently take medication for hypertension, and though I don’t have any other related diseases or anything, I do believe I have some sleep apnea and I snore like crazy at night.

What I want to do is pen an open letter to all fat people.  It is about high time someone laid down the facts, and talked to each other like we should and have an open line of communication so we can get some clean and clear understanding.

First off, we need to call a spade a spade.  We are fat.  Some of us are overweight.  Some are morbidly obese, or just obese.  By definition, fat is:

adjective
 1.
(of a person or animal) having a large amount of excess flesh.
“the driver was a fat, wheezing man”
synonyms: plumpstoutoverweightlargechubbyportlyflabby, paunchy, potbellied, beer-bellied, meaty, of ample proportions, heavysetMore

It doesn’t matter to the rest of us of how you go there, or how you ended up fat.  The point is- you’re fat.  I’m fat, you’re fat, just get over the semantics of what we are called for a moment.

I’ve done it countless times before:

“I’m not that fat, I’m just a little bit overweight.”

“It was just holiday weight- I will get it off quickly.”

“I’m fluffy, and just more to love.”

Everyday I scan the internet, and probably at least 2-3 times a week on the front page of various websites there is a feel good story about someone who is “feeling good about the way they look.”  One story I saw had a 400 pound male model.  Another was about a women proud to wear a 2 piece swimsuit at 250 pounds.  Sometimes it is about stretch marks.  It is always somewhere, about something to make us feel good about ourselves.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think we should be happy.  We should be happy with who we are.  But we have to improve.  We cannot expect for the world to change for us, for society to change for us.  We must change for ourselves.  I have put together a list- albeit a more fluid list, but something that we as a fat society need to pull together, recognize, and be able to work on correcting:

1. Place “blame” where it belongs.  It will probably be on us.  Stop complaining about the seats being to small to fit in.  Stop complaining about people saying stupid things are comments within earshot.  Don’t blame department stores, or McDonald’s. Man and woman up and look in the mirror.  Stop blaming genes, or your thyroid, or anything else that is “forcing” you to gain or be fat.

2. Acknowledge that being fat is NOT healthy.  Shit I get tired of that.  “Well, I may be 40 pounds overweight, but I am healthy and love myself so I don’t need to change for anyone.”  You can be happy.  YOU ARE NOT HEALTHY.  When we can admit that, move on and start making the choices that lead to better lives than we will be on the right track.

3.  Give the finger to everything you think you know or have been told to lose weight.  Here is all you fucking need to know: eat less, sleep more, drink more water, move more.  You don’t need pills.  You don’t need prescriptions (for that) change you habits, change your life.  Eat more fruits and veggies.  Don’t eat seconds.  Make the buffet places go extinct.  Get sleep.  Real sleep, like 7-9 hours of sleep.  If you can’t sleep, get it fixed.  Stop drinking shit that YOU KNOW poisons you: alcohol, sodas, etc.  Get your ass up and move!  Walk.  Pick one foot in front of the other, balance yourself and walk!

4.  Get rid of excuses.  We all have them.  Even skinny people.  IT’s ALWAYS something.  Just stop.  IT IS ALWAYS SOMETHING.  IT IS ALWAYS YOU!  Stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop acting like your life is over, because when your life is over.  It is FUCKING over!  If you are reading this, your life IS NOT OVER.  Stop wasting days, and precious time.  START NOW!

 

I have written in journals since I was about 25.  They always said the same things.  ALWAYS.  I haven’t adhered to my own advice.  I acknowledge.  I am not trying to be a fitness instructor or a life coach.  I am struggling just like a lot of us are.  But sorry but someone has to stand up and say some of this shit, and we all have to stand up as a fat society and stop bitching at corporations, or roller coaster makers, or airline seats, or fast food places.  If you want to bitch and complain, go in front of your bathroom mirror, look yourself dead in the eye and then complain.  To my knowledge, no one picks up a knife and fork, and force feeds you shit after shit after shit.

 

I’m out.  I’m going to go for a walk.

Can someone please just cut off my foot?

How much you think a foot weighs anyways?  Maybe 50-100 pounds? 🙂

So it’s been two days (ok maybe less) since my baseball party on the party barge on Lake Travis.  I have been treating my left foot like a momma elephant to her baby, babying this thing like a champ, and you know what?

It still hurts like a motherfucker, lol.

Which does not help because it makes me not want to walk or exercise because of that.  You know, it always seems as if it is something.  I am going to generalize here, but it seems as if fat, overweight, non-healthy (whatever you want to call it)…we always have excuses for why we can’t get over it and make something happen.  No really, it happens to everyone, and I get it, but us fat people need to get over it.  I think I already know what my next post is going to be, and damn, it is going to be good…

Still haven’t kissed my wife in days.  Sucks, but you know what, the fog is starting to clear a little bit in the air I think.  We haven’t fought or said anything stupid the past couple days.  Every morning I try to send her a text, just hoping she has a good day, stuff like that.  Today I thanked her for being a good mom.  During the lake trip she said that we needed to get back to where we were making love and that close, but that it takes time to get back to where we were.  I didn’t take it personal and I didn’t say anything stupid.  It doesn’t matter what I feel or say, if she isn’t feeling anything or isn’t in a good place, I am not going to make her get there.  Which leads me back to me.  I have to take better care of me, make myself feel better about me, so then I can do better for everyone else in my family.  It has to be about me though.

I haven’t figured out my car situation yet.  Waiting to back from my bank, but they didn’t give me approval online, so I can guarantee you that the answer is no, lol.

Still don’t know what I am going to do with that…Something else to put on my plate and figure out how to knock it out.

Well, I still have a essay to write for my Art class due tonight by midnight, mow the yard and figure out shit, but if I don’t pick up the boys from speed and weight camp, they will bitch and moan about it for at least a couple hours (while they are staring at their phones, lol.

Until again, please check in to my next post, its going to be an Anthem.

 

It feels like someone just shot me in the foot!

Calcaneal-Hyperkeratosis-Web-Page-e1475985292759

(Thank you Google Images)

So being fat, and trying to take care of myself lends me to issues that sometimes does not infect the normal people roaming around this earth.  So I have been walking and doing my thing, and then yesterday I spent all day in my sandals.  Note to self: Right now I cannot wear sandals all day, they KILL my feet.  Anyways, because I walked all day in my sandals, and at the end of the night last night, looked down, and DAMN! That is why my heel hurt so bad.  I have like a two inch crack that is horizontal and hurts like hell.  It separated and now it hurts like a bitch, and it makes going on walks, or jogs, impossible…

So of course when things go bad, they ALL go bad.  Yesterday got a call from the shop about my car.  1400 dollars worth of damage that they want to fix on a car that I only paid like 1800 dollars to begin with only 3 months ago.  Figures…My old man said I could borrow his car for a week starting tonight, so I think I am going to try to see what kind of deal I can get on a car with a warranty.  We’ll see…

On a more positive note, my wife and I didn’t fight at all or make snide comments at each other yesterday.  We didn’t hold hands or anything running our errands, but it wasn’t bad at all.  This morning I hugged her a couple times.  She made a comment like “You just trying to push yourself on me huh?”  She was kinda kidding, but I didn’t take personal anything.  I think I said something like, “maybe”.

I guess on another good note, we as a family of four (our daughter is with baby daddy) are going to my younger son’s baseball party on a party barge on Lake Travis today.  It will be good to get with other people, just talk and have a good time while the kids do their thing.  Never been out in one of these boats, but it should be a good time, and Stac and I should be good and be a little more pleasant. (I heard booze sometimes does that to people, lol).  Actually, no, everything has been ok for a couple hours, lol.  I am dying to kiss her, like a real kiss with soft lips and everything, but I am trying to really hold back and not push the issue too much.

We’ll see what happens today, lol

 

Until Again,